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2/7/2020

7 Tips for DEALING WITH LIFE's TRANSITIONS

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Painting of Leo Tolstoy with the quotation
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." ― Leo Tolstoy
I'm not sure that quote is one hundred percent accurate because I suspect, if you are reading this blog, change is something you are open to or curious about. Whether the amount of change, upheaval and uncertainty all-around at the moment is challenging or not, is - as they say - another kettle of fish. 

Most people are not fond of change, but, whether you like it or not, it happens all the time. The seasons come and go, day changes into night and then back again, you get older with each passing year, along with emerging wrinkles and grey hair - or maybe I'm only talking about myself! Thank heavens for hair colouring.  

Of course, there are other life changes, job, promotion, redundancy, start a business, buy a house, move house, a death in the family, a new baby. Change is constant, and yet it is frequently challenging, and uncomfortable, and we try to resist it even though this is futile. 

Here are some suggestions on ways to deal with life transitions. I'm not saying they will make the change easy but maybe one or two will resonate, cause you to pause and tweak your perspective.

 
Accept Change
When the changes that happen are totally outside your control, there is absolutely nothing you can do. Therefore, it's best to accept them and stop resisting. Now, this is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. But, when you learn to let go of the desire to be in control of something that you can't control, you may find it much more comfortable when those changes do occur. Of course, some changes are going to be less challenging than others, be grateful when you notice this is the case.
 
Don't Live with Regrets
You can't change the past, at least not yet. Until someone discovers a way to do that, don't worry about what you've done in the past. Besides, if you let that get you down, you risk alienating others because you'll always be in a foul mood. Don't live with regrets. It's a colossal waste of energy. 

"Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change."
― Wayne W. Dyer
Remember you have more knowledge and experience now than you did in the past, cut that younger you some slack. If that younger you was someone you really cared for and loved what advice might you offer to support them and help move past the old regret.

Remember You Are Not Alone
No matter what stage of life you are in, many people have been there before or are here right alongside you. Seek out these people and talk to them, learn from them and their experience. This doesn't mean you'll do the same as they did, but it could prompt you to think of alternatives for you. Furthermore, you'll meet new friends or deepen friendships in the process, and you'll discover that the world is not as lonely as you might have thought.
 
Have Some Alone Time
I know this sounds a bit contradictory after the previous paragraph. So I'm not suggesting you go it alone, however, having some time for yourself is a good thing. This is the time you take to clear your head or think things through without the input of others, no matter how well-meaning. Whatever you want to do, it is up to you to decide.
 
Enjoy Life No Matter What
Everyone deals with tragedy at some point in their lives. You will grieve the loss of loved ones, and you may have adverse situations that you'll have to deal with. As much as possible, choose to enjoy your life no matter what type of position you find yourself in. If you believe you only get one life, you want to live this life to its fullest.
"Life has no limitations, except the ones you make."
​- Les Brown
Understand Your Purpose
You are here on this earth for a reason. You do things differently to everyone else. Even if you think you do some things the same others, you are unique and so you have your angle or spin because you are you. If you are stuck on something that doesn't fit for you, you'll probably feel discontented. Determine what it si you are meant to do and just do it. 
 
Get Help When You Feel Overwhelmed
There are going to be situations where life - your life - seems unbearable and tough to deal with. If you ever get to that point, and you don't need to wait until it is too complicated, do look for help and support. You can start with friends and family. Consider this, sometimes friends and family have a vested interest in the status quo, so for challenging situations, consider professional help.
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    Julie Silfverberg has worked in the field of personal and professional development for more than 20 years. She works with a diverse and exciting group of people. Each with their own unique talents and potential.

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